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Lynda Finn Starts her Year Perfect - Can She Keep it Up? (Meanwhile Everybody is Playing Triple-Triples)

1st Lynda Finn had her first-ever 5-0 performance, and her 100% winning percentage places her neatly at the top of the year's standings. Her perfect record did not include wins over either of the notorious Reinke twins, but her accomplishment should not be diminished as she beat some of the club's top players on her way to first place. A phony of LIVIDEST, played in a 435-348 win against Helen Flores, was a dark spot on her scoresheet, but the remainder of her nine bingos were valid, leaving her with a perfectly acceptable 11% phony rate. She downed Aaron Bader by an even hundred points, 443-343, thanks to her successful application of the "don't let your opponent bingo" strategy. Meanwhile, she had three bingos of her own: MANTLES, HEAVIEST, and SCULLER. A final game against Bryan Benwitz came down to the last play (and the last few seconds of Bryan's clock), but Lynda was again victorious, 430-416. Bryan had a 99-point REDEEMS, but Lynda's two bingos of TZARIST and TENPINS were just enough to take the win.

2nd Aaron Bader went 3-1 +259, with only a loss to the provably unstoppable Lynda preventing him from attaining the glory of an undefeated record. He started by taking out Thomas Reinke 426-396, playing RAMULOSE, TRAINMAN, and RATIONED. The three-bingo theme continued when he matched up against Richard Lauder and showed not a trace of mercy, winning that one 506-256 and getting down INTERTIE, DORSERS, and REFUSALS in the process. A fourth-round encounter with Gail Salm seemed to be another runaway victory for Aaron, with an early triple-triple of SORRIEST for 122 points putting him in a comfortable position, but Gail's counter-triple-triple of RELATION, also for 122 points, got her right back in the game. The final score ended at 476-398, so the impact of the "never give up" moral was slightly diminished, but still...never give up!

3rd Charles Reinke snuck into third place with a 3-2 +657 record. After losing his first two games by a combined total of 22 points to Bryan Benwitz and Gail Salm (I believe this technique is called "sandbagging"), he reeled off three huge wins to end up averaging 488 for the night. He started his comeback with a 479-337 win versus Richard Lauder, playing VESTMENT and the damaging 99-point RECODES (Richard got down UNMIXES and WASTRIE). Charles followed that up with the highest score of the nascent club season, a 583 against Helen Flores. His bingo list was substantive: GOVERNOR, GUNBOATS, HITLESS, and a 104-point TRUCKMAN (is that like a TRAINMAN?). Similar ruthlessness was displayed against Dave Gilligan, who had beaten Thomas Reinke earlier in the night and was thus due for some brotherly payback; Charles won their game 557-273, playing BULGARS, SPLICED, and a 104-point BEYONDS.

In total, four triple-triples were played, perhaps a club record (nobody really knows): Aaron's SORRIEST (122), Dave's ENLARGER (140), Gail's RELATION (122), and Gail again with MONTAGES (131). In other news, the club has to fold because there's no money left after all these $5 triple-triple prizes.

New Season, Same Game

1st Thomas Reinke started the new club season off right, but not as right as he could have, going 3-1 +292. He opened with a big 525-299 win against Gail, where he played VOTARESS, SHINOLA, and RECANED (dumbest RE- word ever?). A smart person would have stopped playing right then and there to maintain a 525 average on the year, but Thomas, greedy as ever, desired wins over statistical feats. To that end, he beat Charles 470-406 with his bingos of IDEALISM, UNFORGED, and TENTERS. Charles was held bingoless until the very last play, when he played VIOLATES. As they say, if you can't bingo early, bingo late, and if you can't bingo late, bingo early. In the third game, Aaron attemped to put that adage to use against Thomas, seeing a blank as his first tile, but was stymied by his remaining draw of IIRRUU. Aaron did end up striking first, with the fancy DEIFORM, but lost 387-430. Thomas' dreams of an undefeated season ended when he faced Bryan in the final game, where he lost 393-434. He played SOOTIER and RETINULA versus Bryan's ADAPTION and CONFUSED, but Bryan's late flurry of non-bingo scoring put the game away.

2nd Charles Reinke bingoed only 5 times in 4 his games, a low total for him, but still went 3-1 +228, good for second place. In the first round, he overcame an early 100-point deficit against Mary to win 414-325. His find of TAPIOCA (n. a disgusting "food" concoction) for 84 points seemed to make the difference. After falling to his brother in the second game, he faced Bryan, who he dispatched without the aid of any bingos, 373-335. Details are scarce, but it seems safe to assume that he scored points in other ways. Perhaps power tiles? Let's go with power tiles on this one. Things picked up a bit for him against Gail, where he won 487-322. He played the oddly-spelled COLISEUM as well as PROVISO in that contest.

3rd Bryan Benwitz also went 3-1, his spread of +144 putting him in third place. I haven't looked at the full standings yet, but I'm just going to assume that everyone went 3-1. Anyway, Bryan got the best of of Helen in the first game, 393-352, playing BRAINED (adj. what Bryan is) and TIPTOED against Helen's BOOGIED. Following that, he won the "most reasonable nonword of the week" prize (0 dollars) with LATCHERS* in his 444-344 win versus Mary. If you are ever tempted to play that almost-word, play TRACHLE instead. In the interest of full disclosure, Bryan also played INDIGOS and MULATTOS in that game. Just so you don't think he plays nothing but phonies. As stated in the previous paragraph, Bryan outbingoed Charles 2-0 in their third-round matchup, with NITROUS and word-of-the-week PANORAMA, but somehow lost. Luckily, he got some measure of revenge against Thomas.

Aaron "Gimpy" Bader Gimps His Way to First Place...Gimpily*

1st Aaron Bader accumulated a perfect record, winning all four of his games and ending the night with a point spread of +280. He started off strong by defeating Mary Becker 457-371, but his phony UNERECT marred an otherwise well-played game. One of his other bingos, EONISMS, was made notable by the fact that Bryan Benwitz, sitting at a faraway table, played the EXACT SAME WORD just a minute later. Spoooooooky. This temporal and proximal concomitance can only be explained by supernatural means. Aaron continued his winning ways with a dominant 515-373 win over Charles Reinke, smothering him with five bingos (MUTINEER, GRASSING, word-of-the-week ARCHAEAN, CHARNEL, DISTANT). Charles got GNARLED to avert total and complete emasculation. An encounter with Richard Lauder saw the bingo tables get flipped on Aaron, but he overcame the 1-to-3 bingo deficit to take the victory, 419-385. The losing party got down TALLAGE, RETINENE, and SHEARING, but was somehow overcome by the winner's single bingo of HORNETS. Aaron sealed his perfect record in the final game by besting Bryan Benwitz, 396-378. Some quick arithmetic reveals that Bryan's score of 378 is significantly fewer points than he scored the last time he played Aaron (cough645cough).

2nd Charles Reinke averaged 473 points per game while going 3-1 +424. Excluding the anomalous loss to Aaron in the second round, he won each of his games by over 100 points. His first play in his first game was the portentous ZANINESS for 104, played against Gail Salm; he would later add PROSSIES and ANTEDATE to his list of bingos, and take the game 486-339. Another lopsided game was played against Thomas Reinke (are they related?); the final score was 474-308. Of note was Charles' 97-point YARROWS and 80-point GRANULAR; of lesser note was Thomas' LIBELANT for 61. By this point, having blocked out the memory of his loss to Aaron, Charles was drunk on the notion of his presupposed Scrabble superiority, and won his final game against Helen Flores by a score of 560-307. His bingos were plentiful: KRATERS (n. KRATER, an ancient greek vase), DOGEARS, ENHANCES, and REFLECT.

3rd Bryan Benwitz went 3-1 +233, but perhaps wished that the session ended early, as he was 3-0 +251 after three games were played. After taking out Sue Goldstein 449-256 (playing the ultra-spooky EONISMS to contribute to the win), he moved on to Thomas Reinke and coolly defeated the twin 400-365. Thomas played two bingos of OUTRANKS and SCOREPAD (both being able to be loosely tied to the Scrabble theme), while Bryan played just ISATINE (a word that cannot really be tied to the Scrabble theme since it's probably a chemical compound or something). Bryan fared similarly well against Helen Flores, winning a close game 435-412 despite challenging her 92-point WANGLED early on in the match. His own RENTIERS near the end sealed the deal. In the "FINAL ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF THE UNDEFEATEDS" in round four, Bryan faced off against Aaron Bader, but could not fell His Gimpiness*, despite playing two bingos (ARTISANS and the odd-looking TIRRIVEE) to Aaron's one (QUASHER).

With the ending of August and the arrival of September, the club season comes to a close. This year's club champion, with a winning percentage of 75.7% and a per-game average of 449, is none other than Charles Reinke! Rounding out the top three were Thomas Reinke (72.7% win rate, 441 average) and Aaron Bader (70.3% win rate, 424 average).

*don't play GIMPILY, it's not a word. Don't play GIMPINESS either.