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Lynda Finn Finishes First for Second Straight Week

1st Lynda Finn's 4-1 +269 record was slightly worse than her four-and-oh performance last week, but it was still good enough forst first place on a night where nobody went undefeated. She was given a chance early to go for the elusive 5-0 record with a two-on-one in the first round, but emerged having split the pair of games with a 418-274 win over Helen Flores and a 344-419 loss to Gail Salm. It was smooth Scrabbling from there on out; Lynda scored above 400 in the rest of her games while preventing all of her opponents from doing the same. Richard Lauder came closest to adding another loss to Lynda's record, losing 398-425 despite outbingoing her (HALITES and SALTING to Lynda's UPROOTER), but Andy Bohnsack was thoroughly bamboozled by Lynda's tile-laying prowess, losing 449-335. Then, in an emphatic display of primal dominance, Lynda squelched Thomas Reinke's hopes of a perfect record by defeating him 402-344. If this seems like a familiar storyline, it is: Lynda trampled upon Thomas' dreams in a similar manner last week. This time around, Lynda got down CETANES and OVERING, while Thomas was only able to muster a lone BEATIFY.

2nd Thomas Reinke went 3-1 +314, his fourth week in a row with that exact record. Since his current winning percentage is below 75%, he'd probably be happy (or at least content) if this streak continued indefinitely. His night started off well; for the eighth time in nine tries he defeated Bryan Benwitz, this time by a score of 422-331. He reached deep into his well of bingos to pull out HAULAGE and the word of the week, RATAFIAS (a type of liqueur), but Bryan also got in on the bingo action with SATIRES and DOORMAN. Thomas then got the highest score of the night when he tallied a 530 to Gail Salm's 369. Three bingos of CLEANOUT, TELNETS, and ATABRINE, along with an 86-point KANZU, helped make his lead insurmountable despite Gail's CONCISER and STOGIES. His third and final win before getting Lyndaed was a 443-323 contest with Aaron Bader, who outbingoed Thomas (HATBANDS and BIASING vs. REWINDED) but otherwise found few other ways to score points. Scrabble tip of the day: scoring points is good.

3rd Charles Reinke enjoyed an identical 3-1 record to his brother (gasp) but was relegated to third place with his inferior +271 spread. He amassed a fair amount of that spread in a 415-242 win over Sue Goldstein, a game that so no bingos played from either side. Charles' other wins featured more in the way of bingos: a 459-357 victory against Mary Becker saw the uncaring victor play three of them, all top 200 in probability: AERADIO, ANISOLE, and SONATINE. Mary did play UNCARING for 77 to minimize the damage. Charles followed that up by beating Aaron Bader in a high-scoring game, 467-452. Aaron prevailed in the bingo count, playing ABALONES, ELECTION, and INERTIA to Charles' ABROGATE and ALEXINS, but his demise was brought about by an unfortunate Q-stick, a rarer occurrence in the post-QI era. The one loss which sullied Charles' scoresheet came against Andy Bohnsack in a low-scoring 346-365 game. Much relief was felt by all participants in, and observers of, that game as Andy's HARASSED turned out to be spelled correctly.

Andy also happened to go 3-1 (with a +187 spread) so he gets an entire sentence in his honor. Or two sentences since the editor is feeling generous today. This is practically an entire paragraph! How many sentences do you have to write without breaks before it becomes a paragraph?

How Many Times Has Her Name Been Spelled "Linda Fynn"?

1st Lynda Finn smashed the patriarchy, the matriarchy, the hagiarchy, basically all the -archies as she went 4-0 +349. She got her night off to a good start against Gail, winning 453-318, playing BEARISH (with the way the blank was placed, it could have been BEAUISH or BEAMISH) and RELIVES. She followed that up with a semi-decisive victory over Aaron, 418-349. Aaron got down NOISETTE and PENNIES versus Lynda's SEDITION and RANTERS (n. one that rants, DUH). Against Dennis in the third round, she played EASEMENT (replace the first E with a C or a B for CASEMENT or BASEMENT) and BETIDED in a 461-369 win. She saved her best for last against Thomas, bingoing four (the amount of bingos needed to 100% guarantee a win against that dude) times and securing her first undefeated session since September.

2nd Thomas Reinke averaged a pretty-good-but-not-totally-mindblowing 475 on his way to a 3-1 +343 night. He won a close one against Richard in the first game, 405-366, playing HINTERS and TAGINES (also spelled TAJINES). He then won a not-so-close one against Mary, 562-316, opening with SLEEKED for 84 and rolling from there. A similar fate awaited Bryan, as Thomas opened with TZARINA for 102, eventually playing 3 more high-scoring bingos (including ESOTERIC, which was extended to ESOTERICA as he played yet another bingo) and scoring 527. Bryan did play DIAZOLES and OPENERS to score a respectable 416 himself, so it wasn't all sad, just mostly sad. Thomas' hot streak ended abruptly at the hands of Lynda in the final game, probably because he didn't open with a bingo. It's just so much easier to win when you get a head start like that.

3rd Charles Reinke also went 3-1, but came in third solely because of how bad Michael kicked his butt in the first game. Here's all you need to know about that game: Michael played BLOTCHED for 176 points. Charles' vengeance was swift, but misplaced: he beat Dave in the next game by over 200 points, playing ISOLEAD and MISRAISE. Against Andy in the third round, he won 399-318, playing CIBOULE and SURREAL. More bingos would have been played, but a blank was the last tile in the bag, much to Andy's dismay. Bingos were again in short supply in the Bryan-Charles matchup, with each of them playing one apiece. Charles won, 410-374, but I bet if you asked him, he'd say he'd rather bingo five times than win the game.

In other news, the adjacent games of Richard vs. Dennis and Andy vs. Gail in the final round produced a combined 14 bingos, 7 in each game. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I did sneak the lucky folding table where the games occurred out of the church. You can rent it for your next tournament for a small fee, if you want bingos to be in unnatural abundance.

Michael David... and Goliath! Nah, That Doesn't Make Sense

1st Michael David secured his first top finish since his long-awaited return to club, going 4-0 +222. In the first round, he survived a close match with Helen, winning 390-372 thanks to his bingo of ENDIVES (n. disgusting salad greens). His second game was almost as close, with him defeating Dave 363-334. Michael played OUTDONE (anagram DUOTONE), but, not to be outdone, Dave's FORCERS for 93 kept him in the game until the end. Michael's bingoing (and thus, scoring) started picking up against Richard, against whom he got down ACULEATE (n. a stinging insect) and INWARDLY in a 449-364 victory. He saved his great accomplishment for last, ending Aaron's 9-game winning streak, 487-391, saving the club a ton of money in the process. Not like we don't enjoy giving out money. Just saying though. Anyway, Michae's three bingos of SOLATED, RENEWALS, and ERASION were enough to counteract Aaron's nice find of BHANGRAS (n. a genre of Punjabi music, a noteworthy example of the style being "Tunak Tunak Tun" by Daler Mehndi) for 106.

2nd Thomas Reinke averaged 502, which is only halfway to a thousand, points per game on his way to a 3-1 +516 record. He dispatched Lynda in the first game with his bingos of FISTING (which takes an S, if anyone was curious) and CHALONE. Against Bryan, he won, 560-384, playing MYNHEER (n. a Dutch title of courtesy for a man, also spelled MIJNHEER), SOIGNEE, and DELUDED. Bryan did get down ABALONE and a late HISTONE, but it wasn't enough. Don't you sometimes wish that the bonus for bingos was like 250 points instead of 50? I bet Bryan does. At least in this case. In the third game, Aaron edged out Thomas, 440-422 with his bingos of ALDICARB for 95 and QUERIED for 90. Incensed by his poor luck, Thomas unleashed the fury against Gail, winning 545-335 with a barrage of early bingoing. In quick succession, he played ENISLES, SAPREMIA, STRIDING, and DENOTING, using up all the good tiles and leaving none for Gail. How rude!

3rd Charles Reinke edged out Aaron for third place by one spread point with his 3-1 +19 record. If it turns out that Aaron should actually be in third due to a data entry error, there will be no apologies. Typing numbers is hard! This paragraph will continue assuming that Charles is the rightful winner. Coincidentally, Charles lost to Aaron in the first round, 386-471, probably because he, at one point, drew a rack of a AEINST?. Racks like that are a bad omen. He bingoed with RETSINA, but when your opponent can bingo from a rack of DEFGITY with FIDGETY, it's easy to see who deserves to win. Charles made up for his first-round loss with a 458-411 win against Lynda in the next game, a game which featured his very nice find of PALEOCON (n. an extremely right-wing conservative). Against David in the third round, Charles withstood an early barrage of scoring by his opponent to win 403-358, playing a lone bingo, CENTIARE. Charles' 424-412 win against Bryan, combined with Aaron's loss, in the final game of the night was just enough to slide him into third. Again, there will be no refunds for mis-inputted scores.